Doing Things Differently #5 - Core Values
I have been developing my business plan this week. Like many people, I already have goals for my life - both personally and professionally - and what coaching has added to this area is clarity on identifying the values which lie beneath the goals. Values are what makes us who we are, the things that are important to us.
I'll share with you an example... A goal I have in the financial aspect of my business plan is to be earning a certain amount of money per month. It would be tempting to leave it at that - of course I want to be earning good money from the work I do. BUT, there are deeper levels to this and so I go mining for these... At first, I realise: there's a feeling of safety which comes from a reliable income (i.e. the value is: safety). When I feel safe, I am then free - to give, to be in the flow (i.e. the deeper value is: freedom). When I feel free, I feel that I can expand and fully fill my role (i.e. the value is: fulfilling my role). And what is the role I love to fulfil? For me, it's being of service. Therefore, through this process of uncovering and delving deeper, I discover that my motivation for wanting a level of income is so that I can be of service.
When I've discovered this core value, I then make sure that I honour the value as I make my way towards the goal. So, in my business plan, I ensure that the marketing strategies I use to build my business and increase my income are all aligned with being of service to people. For me, these will include writing articles in magazines that people will gain something from, sending useful clippings from newspapers to contacts I have made, and offering free sample sessions.
Inquiry: What is truly important to me?
Action: Every day this week, honour one of your key values. If you value freedom, do something which will really allow you to feel this (e.g. dancing naked around the house!); if tranquility is important to you, make dinner time a more tranquil experience by lighting a candle and sitting in silence for a minute before eating. Whatever it is you do, notice how it feels to be living life based on your key values.
** Special Offer **
This week, I am offering a free 20 minute taster of this core value process. For the first 3 people who reply to this email, we will take a goal that you have and break it down to the core value. We will then find ways of you living this value on your journey towards the goal.
Monday, May 29, 2006
Monday, May 22, 2006
#4 - As Good As It Gets?
Doing Things Differently - As Good As It Gets?
How great can our lives get before we freak out?
I've just had one of the best weekends of my life. My 27th birthday party - in our own home, the house full of people I love, my beautiful partner beside me, talking passionately about the coaching work I do, such a strong sense of community. Now, in the aftermath, it feels that the lid has been blown off my world - there's suddenly no limit to how good things can get. The voice has shut up which used to say:"stay moderate, keep your head down, you don't want the universe to realise how cool your life has got".
And what I'm staying true to now is the knowledge that I deserve this. I deserve for life to be amazing and mind-blowing and easy because... we all do. I'm holding that to be the truth for ALL of us, no exceptions.It seems that sometimes all we need to do is let ourselves believe that to be true - and then just sit back and enjoy.
Action: Each day this week make one thing you do easier than you've ever made it before. The shopping trip you normally grumble about - sing your way round the aisles. The washing up you normally resent doing - feel how soft and warm the water is. Notice how it is to let your life be easy - and notice the resistance that comes up - that part of you which says "life should be a struggle". Just notice.
Inquiry (to be thought with regards any situation): How easy can I make this?
How great can our lives get before we freak out?
I've just had one of the best weekends of my life. My 27th birthday party - in our own home, the house full of people I love, my beautiful partner beside me, talking passionately about the coaching work I do, such a strong sense of community. Now, in the aftermath, it feels that the lid has been blown off my world - there's suddenly no limit to how good things can get. The voice has shut up which used to say:"stay moderate, keep your head down, you don't want the universe to realise how cool your life has got".
And what I'm staying true to now is the knowledge that I deserve this. I deserve for life to be amazing and mind-blowing and easy because... we all do. I'm holding that to be the truth for ALL of us, no exceptions.It seems that sometimes all we need to do is let ourselves believe that to be true - and then just sit back and enjoy.
Action: Each day this week make one thing you do easier than you've ever made it before. The shopping trip you normally grumble about - sing your way round the aisles. The washing up you normally resent doing - feel how soft and warm the water is. Notice how it is to let your life be easy - and notice the resistance that comes up - that part of you which says "life should be a struggle". Just notice.
Inquiry (to be thought with regards any situation): How easy can I make this?
Monday, May 15, 2006
#3 - Money
Doing Things Differently - Putting Our Money Where Our Mouth Is
Today I've signed up for a couple of cool things.
Firstly, the employers at my part-time job have been insisting on paying into a pension for me so I've finally sucumbed. And what I've put my name to is an ethical fund which invests the money in alternative energy sources and the like. I already have savings accounts similar to this with ethical bank Triodos (www.triodos.co.uk) so I'm delighted to have found another way of making my money work for the world as well as for me.
Secondly, our car breakdown insurance is up for renewal. I did some research and discovered the Environmental Transport Association - the world's first climate-neutral motoring association (www.eta.co.uk).
There's so much I could say about these companies but I won't; my aim here is not to promote them (although that can be a happy by-product if you want to check out their websites!) but rather to show that we're always at choice in where we spend our money. And as our money is simply a form of our energy, it matters. It's been so easy for me to choose these options instead of the default options - all that's required is the desire to look.
Action: Take a stock check of what your money is up to. Your energy bills, home insurance, savings, mortgage, pension, charity donations, phone bill, food shop, car insurance etc. What companies are you endorsing, what organisations do you support? Notice how it feels to be putting your energy into these places.
Inquiry: Where do I spend my energy?
Today I've signed up for a couple of cool things.
Firstly, the employers at my part-time job have been insisting on paying into a pension for me so I've finally sucumbed. And what I've put my name to is an ethical fund which invests the money in alternative energy sources and the like. I already have savings accounts similar to this with ethical bank Triodos (www.triodos.co.uk) so I'm delighted to have found another way of making my money work for the world as well as for me.
Secondly, our car breakdown insurance is up for renewal. I did some research and discovered the Environmental Transport Association - the world's first climate-neutral motoring association (www.eta.co.uk).
There's so much I could say about these companies but I won't; my aim here is not to promote them (although that can be a happy by-product if you want to check out their websites!) but rather to show that we're always at choice in where we spend our money. And as our money is simply a form of our energy, it matters. It's been so easy for me to choose these options instead of the default options - all that's required is the desire to look.
Action: Take a stock check of what your money is up to. Your energy bills, home insurance, savings, mortgage, pension, charity donations, phone bill, food shop, car insurance etc. What companies are you endorsing, what organisations do you support? Notice how it feels to be putting your energy into these places.
Inquiry: Where do I spend my energy?
Monday, May 08, 2006
#2 - Getting Real
Doing Things Differently #2
So, my challenge this week is to stop being nice. What on Earth’s wrong with ‘nice’? you may ask. Let me clarify – I don’t mean ‘good’ or ‘kind’ or ‘loving’; I mean ‘nice’. A wise person once sussed it out by describing it as: ‘Nothing Inside Cares Enough’ i.e. to tell you what I really think. The ‘nice’ girl who remembers her manners, is ‘nice’ and polite… basically repressing everything she’s really feeling. I’ve been playing this game all my life and I’ve now reached that point where I’m saying “enough is enough”. It’s not serving me, it’s not serving my loved ones and it’s not serving my coaching clients.
When my coach asked me: “so if you’re stopping being ‘nice’, what are you starting being?” my answer was “Authentic”. Not the expected opposite of ‘nasty’ but AUTHENTIC – a characteristic most of us would respect. Which begs the realisation: all this time I’ve been so caught up with being ‘nice’, I haven’t been REAL and so I’ve been selling people short.
What are we like when we’re being truly authentic? Like these e-zines, there’s an unedited, make-it-up-as-we-go-along quality. Nothing’s being held back – we’re giving ourselves to the world in our purest forms. There’s something so generous there.
What does the authentic me want to do? Ask yourself that question now, right in this moment. And keep asking yourself it all week – that’s just become our Inquiry. Right now I want to… just stop writing and listen to the birds singing. I pause my pen midway through that sentence and become aware of this beautiful present moment. I’d made up that being fully authentic means I’m going to want to go around insulting everyone, no holds barred, and actually I find a different authentic me than I’d expected. Who might YOU be if you let yourself get real?
Inquiry: What does the authentic me want to do right now?
Action: With one person today, be totally unapologetically authentic. Pick your nose if you want to, tell them they’re boring you if they are, or give them a 20 minute bear huge. Notice how much energy you would have tied up if you’d held back.
So, my challenge this week is to stop being nice. What on Earth’s wrong with ‘nice’? you may ask. Let me clarify – I don’t mean ‘good’ or ‘kind’ or ‘loving’; I mean ‘nice’. A wise person once sussed it out by describing it as: ‘Nothing Inside Cares Enough’ i.e. to tell you what I really think. The ‘nice’ girl who remembers her manners, is ‘nice’ and polite… basically repressing everything she’s really feeling. I’ve been playing this game all my life and I’ve now reached that point where I’m saying “enough is enough”. It’s not serving me, it’s not serving my loved ones and it’s not serving my coaching clients.
When my coach asked me: “so if you’re stopping being ‘nice’, what are you starting being?” my answer was “Authentic”. Not the expected opposite of ‘nasty’ but AUTHENTIC – a characteristic most of us would respect. Which begs the realisation: all this time I’ve been so caught up with being ‘nice’, I haven’t been REAL and so I’ve been selling people short.
What are we like when we’re being truly authentic? Like these e-zines, there’s an unedited, make-it-up-as-we-go-along quality. Nothing’s being held back – we’re giving ourselves to the world in our purest forms. There’s something so generous there.
What does the authentic me want to do? Ask yourself that question now, right in this moment. And keep asking yourself it all week – that’s just become our Inquiry. Right now I want to… just stop writing and listen to the birds singing. I pause my pen midway through that sentence and become aware of this beautiful present moment. I’d made up that being fully authentic means I’m going to want to go around insulting everyone, no holds barred, and actually I find a different authentic me than I’d expected. Who might YOU be if you let yourself get real?
Inquiry: What does the authentic me want to do right now?
Action: With one person today, be totally unapologetically authentic. Pick your nose if you want to, tell them they’re boring you if they are, or give them a 20 minute bear huge. Notice how much energy you would have tied up if you’d held back.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
#1 - Starting Somewhere
Doing Things Differently #1
Writer’s block. I’ve been putting off writing this e-zine for months now. I’ve tied myself in knots with trying to figure out what I want to say, how I want to say it. I’ve typed away, made notes on scraps of paper, set my palmtop up ready for…what? There’s so much to say and so where to start?
And I see now what a pattern this is for me – and for many people. Our world is so big, with so many opportunities – shiny jewels catching our eyes. We’re told we can do anything, go anywhere, be anyone… And so, where to start?
So it appears that this e-zine, the very first from me, is to be about: starting somewhere. Anywhere. Picking up a thread and following it, unravelling whatever it is coming from, and dancing all the way. Letting go of the notion of ‘perfect’ and just trusting in what is.
Which is very much like coaching. When a client presents themselves to me, I’m confronted with vastness, hugeness, expansiveness. A whole person, a whole life. Where on earth do we start? I’ve developed tools and forms etc. etc. and actually it turns out that the client knows. They give me a thread and we pull, together, and we follow and we dance; then there’s another and we do the same again. Where we’re going, neither of us truly knows – it’s not planned, it’s not rehearsed, this person’s life is an evolving mystery.
I can see now how this e-zine is like a client. Asking to let itself be written, asking for my trust in the process. I am asked to show up, to be fully present, to use the tools I have and then get out of the way so that instinct can take over.
And so this is why this e-zine comes to you unedited, unplanned, the words the same here as they were when they emerged from my pen on a Thursday evening. I’ve started. Where I’m going, I’m not so sure… but I have a strong suspicion we’ll enjoy the ride.
Each week we’ll have an Inquiry – a question designed to live with you for a period of time (e.g. a week) and bring forth insights; you might want to stick it on your fridge of store it as your screensaver. We’ll also have an Action – something for you to actually do. Play with both – you never know where they may lead.
Inquiry: What am I yearning to get started on?
Action: Pick a big juicy project which excites you but you feel totally overwhelmed by. Maybe you want to put on a play, take a round-the-world trip or introduce acupuncture into GP surgeries.. Whatever it is, get started right now. Determine what the very next step is – a step that is physical, visible, tangible. Maybe it’s to pick up the Yellow Pages, book a ‘go to travel agents’ slot in your diary, or to email your friend who you know is also interested. Notice how it feels to get started on one of your dreams.
Writer’s block. I’ve been putting off writing this e-zine for months now. I’ve tied myself in knots with trying to figure out what I want to say, how I want to say it. I’ve typed away, made notes on scraps of paper, set my palmtop up ready for…what? There’s so much to say and so where to start?
And I see now what a pattern this is for me – and for many people. Our world is so big, with so many opportunities – shiny jewels catching our eyes. We’re told we can do anything, go anywhere, be anyone… And so, where to start?
So it appears that this e-zine, the very first from me, is to be about: starting somewhere. Anywhere. Picking up a thread and following it, unravelling whatever it is coming from, and dancing all the way. Letting go of the notion of ‘perfect’ and just trusting in what is.
Which is very much like coaching. When a client presents themselves to me, I’m confronted with vastness, hugeness, expansiveness. A whole person, a whole life. Where on earth do we start? I’ve developed tools and forms etc. etc. and actually it turns out that the client knows. They give me a thread and we pull, together, and we follow and we dance; then there’s another and we do the same again. Where we’re going, neither of us truly knows – it’s not planned, it’s not rehearsed, this person’s life is an evolving mystery.
I can see now how this e-zine is like a client. Asking to let itself be written, asking for my trust in the process. I am asked to show up, to be fully present, to use the tools I have and then get out of the way so that instinct can take over.
And so this is why this e-zine comes to you unedited, unplanned, the words the same here as they were when they emerged from my pen on a Thursday evening. I’ve started. Where I’m going, I’m not so sure… but I have a strong suspicion we’ll enjoy the ride.
Each week we’ll have an Inquiry – a question designed to live with you for a period of time (e.g. a week) and bring forth insights; you might want to stick it on your fridge of store it as your screensaver. We’ll also have an Action – something for you to actually do. Play with both – you never know where they may lead.
Inquiry: What am I yearning to get started on?
Action: Pick a big juicy project which excites you but you feel totally overwhelmed by. Maybe you want to put on a play, take a round-the-world trip or introduce acupuncture into GP surgeries.. Whatever it is, get started right now. Determine what the very next step is – a step that is physical, visible, tangible. Maybe it’s to pick up the Yellow Pages, book a ‘go to travel agents’ slot in your diary, or to email your friend who you know is also interested. Notice how it feels to get started on one of your dreams.
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