#77 - It's Not About Me

"At school, certain kids were being labelled as 'disruptive' or 'low achievers'. Then we created a farm. Suddenly, these tough kids with harsh backgrounds were going gooey over the rabbits. It was the first time some of them had ever cuddled anything. They were people, not labels. That's when it started for me."

Jane Tewson is the pioneering imagination behind Comic Relief, PilotLight & Timebank. We'd met at the Chain Reaction event (see my earlier post) and I asked for her words of wisdom: What would she say to other women who had ideas that could make a real difference in the world, but were blocked from seeing them into action?

Her perspective is that our focus needs to be over there on those we want to help. "People sit back and say 'I'd love to help'. I say, if you have an idea, just get in there. Go and test it out. If you want to work with homeless people, find out about a charity, visit the night hostel, learn more about the area. Talk to people, listen to what they need. Once you do that, you can't not follow your passion".

She finds her way through blocks that many of us would stumble over because of this focus. She's also an advocate of acknowledging what you're not so suited for. "The reason I do the work I do is that I learnt very early on that I'm not made of the stuff you need to work directly with people who are suffering. I do the second best - which is supporting those people who are made of that stuff."

I tell her she makes it sound so easy. "You have to find where you are most able to use who you are. I recognise that I'm not very good at very much. I'm shy, I'm not good with numbers or writing or speaking. I'm not actually that clever or talented. At school, I really lacked confidence because of my dyslexia. As I've got older, I've got much more honest about that. What I am good at is being a catalyst. I have an idea, I think about all the people you need to get a campaign off the ground and I get us all together in a room to brainstorm. My role is to inspire people and help them feel confident about the idea. More and more, people just come and say, 'I want to work with you'. I've been overwhelmed by that."

As we find and follow our passion, what would it be like to make it less about us? Imagine if we could all put ourselves fully in service, warts and all, knowing that we aren't brilliant at everything, that we won't always be successful, but that we will act anyway because something other than us compels us to do so. Each of us carries ideas and gifts which others need. It is our duty and our honour to put them into action, into reality.

Do Things Differently
1) What's it really about? Your dream, that nagging ambition that won't go away.... Imagine that the idea is not yours, not for you, but that you are just a vehicle for it. Who are you carrying the idea for? Action: Make a list of the people your idea would help and commit to speaking with some of them about what they need and how you can help. (Some would call this 'market research')

2) What are the strengths that you currently have which you can rely on to help you turn this idea into reality? What are the areas you need to seek the help of others? Who could you enlist? Action: Contact them to ask for what you need.

3) Leave a comment here on this blog, letting us know what it's like to see yourself as carrying an idea which is for others, what it's like to put your focus on others, and what it's like to enlist the help of others...

(c) Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2009

** Ready to make the difference you're here to make?**
If you're blocked by fear of failure, it's not just you who's missing out. Your project could be helping others... and that means you need to risk the highs and lows, the successes AND the failures. Ready? Join the Fail Is NOT A Four Letter Word workshop. Only 4 days left at the early-bird price so if you know you're ready to drop the baggage and put yourself in service, do book now.

#76 - Change One Thing

We used to sleep in the loft. The previous owners had it converted into a beautiful bedroom space that many our visitors have made appreciative noises about. However, the designers neglected to include heating so for four years we shivered through cold winter nights. This week we finally admitted that much as we'd tried, it just wasn't working for us. It was time for a change, time to take ownership so we pulled the bed apart and moved it down to the first floor. Other rooms had to be gutted and rearranged to compensate which was hard work but very much worth it. Our primary goal has been attained - we're cosier and more comfortable - and there have been extra benefits too. We want to invite people round more, it's better for our relationship, and I've got a more organised office space.The house just makes more sense this way round, with rooms having more appropriate roles, and we've felt much more inclined to tidy and clean (I've turned into a super-proud domestic goddess, in fact).

Change isn't always easy, pleasant or beautiful. Sometimes we have to create a mess before we get things in order. If you'd taken a snapshot of us trying to squeeze the mattress down our spiralling staircase or the two of us attempting a four-burly-men reassembly job, then you'd have thought we were worse off than if we'd still been in that cold bedroom. My clients experience this too. Sometimes they risk a change and things don't go brilliantly at first: a new kind of work is far more exhausting than the previous one, they take brave moves and others don't respond well or they sell their house and the eco-community they dreamed of finding doesn't emerge.

This is why it's so important to remember that finding and following our passion is a journey. There will be wrong turns... and also right turns which go up hills before we can sail down the other side. There may be chaos initially and things can look worse before they get better. This is why I love the metaphor of a sliding puzzle which you'll see as the image above. The picture could look 90% right but if we want the picture to be complete, something has to give. We have to change some thing, make the move and risk dismantling and rearranging if we want to really go for what we want.

Do Things Differently

What one thing could you change? What could be reallocated or rearranged to get things moving in the direction you want? For example, reallocating ten minutes of your day to meditation or planning, asking to reduce your employed hours to four days a week or turning the corner of a room into a mini home office. Make a list of options and then do one. What happens when you change one thing? Let us know....

** Want to change something... but scared of failing? ** Every time we change something, there's a chance we'll fail. How are you with that possibility? For many of us, failing is not an option we embrace and so we stay stuck, not taking that risk. The impact? Stagnation, abandoned projects, bottom line = not achieving what we want to achieve or being as happy or fulfilled as we know we can be.

Click here to find out more about a workshop that will change this for you. NB The early-bird deadline of 30th April is getting closer so if you'd like to join us, save £10 by booking in the next couple of weeks.

(c) Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2009.