#41 - Making A Pledge

Getting married has you think a lot. There are lots of the details of the wedding to arrange - the marquees, food, dresses, music etc - and underneath all of that is, of course, the core of the occasion:the vows. What is is that we're wanting to promise each other? What are our commitments? And why??

Pledging also came up for me when choosing our honeymoon. We spent days and days trawling through 'eco tourism' and 'responsible travel' websites, trying to find the 'perfect location'. We were giddy from spinning all around the world and getting nowhere. All along, my conscience was feeling travel sick, its quiet voice reminding me that aviation is the single biggest contributor to climate change. Flying to Australia to see the Great Barrier Reef - whose very ecosystem is threatened by climate change - felt too ironic. How could I fly, knowing that it damages the environment and people's lives, when I don't need to?

It's one thing to say something, it's another to pledge it. I guess that's a key reason why we get married - to publicly pledge what we've been saying all along. And so I typed in 'flight pledge' and came across http://lowflyzone.org/ where you can commit to being free from flying, or flying less, for a year. It's inspiring to read the database of names of those who've pledged and their reasons for doing so, and I felt proud to sign up as #620 in a long list of committed people. There is something hugely validating about promising something and being witnessed by others.

I'm learning how much an outer pledge can support our inner commitment and strengthen it. Travel-wise, I feel the world has opened up since making that pledge, because I have smaller areas of the world to focus on and so can explore more deeply. Likewise with our relationship, it feels liberating to know that I will be loving and sharing with this one person for life; it excites my curiosity - given that we've promised to stay together through challenging times, as well as easy times, how will we do it? Who will we become, what inner resources will we discover?

I often see people not achieving anything significant because they are concerned that saying "no" to certain paths and committing to others would restrict them, or 'burn their bridges'. Yet pledges really are about saying "no" to make room for a more meaningful "yes". By saying "no" to this, what "yes" does this open up for me? As any fan of de-cluttering knows, having less options can bring more space and more simplicity.

Oh - and in case you were curious about our honeymoon "yes" - we're going to a turf-roofed eco-cottage in the Outer Hebrides. Doing Things Differently indeed....

Action: Scan your life for an area where you feel stuck, half-hearted, where you are going back and forth. Decide whether you are ready to make a pledge - whether a "no" could open up a more appealing "yes", or what a "yes" could liberate you from - and then make it. Tell someone, maybe even pledge on-line, and notice what it's like to be witnessed in your commitment, to have that accountability.

Inquiry: What does committing to this open up for me?