#77 - It's Not About Me

"At school, certain kids were being labelled as 'disruptive' or 'low achievers'. Then we created a farm. Suddenly, these tough kids with harsh backgrounds were going gooey over the rabbits. It was the first time some of them had ever cuddled anything. They were people, not labels. That's when it started for me."

Jane Tewson is the pioneering imagination behind Comic Relief, PilotLight & Timebank. We'd met at the Chain Reaction event (see my earlier post) and I asked for her words of wisdom: What would she say to other women who had ideas that could make a real difference in the world, but were blocked from seeing them into action?

Her perspective is that our focus needs to be over there on those we want to help. "People sit back and say 'I'd love to help'. I say, if you have an idea, just get in there. Go and test it out. If you want to work with homeless people, find out about a charity, visit the night hostel, learn more about the area. Talk to people, listen to what they need. Once you do that, you can't not follow your passion".

She finds her way through blocks that many of us would stumble over because of this focus. She's also an advocate of acknowledging what you're not so suited for. "The reason I do the work I do is that I learnt very early on that I'm not made of the stuff you need to work directly with people who are suffering. I do the second best - which is supporting those people who are made of that stuff."

I tell her she makes it sound so easy. "You have to find where you are most able to use who you are. I recognise that I'm not very good at very much. I'm shy, I'm not good with numbers or writing or speaking. I'm not actually that clever or talented. At school, I really lacked confidence because of my dyslexia. As I've got older, I've got much more honest about that. What I am good at is being a catalyst. I have an idea, I think about all the people you need to get a campaign off the ground and I get us all together in a room to brainstorm. My role is to inspire people and help them feel confident about the idea. More and more, people just come and say, 'I want to work with you'. I've been overwhelmed by that."

As we find and follow our passion, what would it be like to make it less about us? Imagine if we could all put ourselves fully in service, warts and all, knowing that we aren't brilliant at everything, that we won't always be successful, but that we will act anyway because something other than us compels us to do so. Each of us carries ideas and gifts which others need. It is our duty and our honour to put them into action, into reality.

Do Things Differently
1) What's it really about? Your dream, that nagging ambition that won't go away.... Imagine that the idea is not yours, not for you, but that you are just a vehicle for it. Who are you carrying the idea for? Action: Make a list of the people your idea would help and commit to speaking with some of them about what they need and how you can help. (Some would call this 'market research')

2) What are the strengths that you currently have which you can rely on to help you turn this idea into reality? What are the areas you need to seek the help of others? Who could you enlist? Action: Contact them to ask for what you need.

3) Leave a comment here on this blog, letting us know what it's like to see yourself as carrying an idea which is for others, what it's like to put your focus on others, and what it's like to enlist the help of others...

(c) Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2009

** Ready to make the difference you're here to make?**
If you're blocked by fear of failure, it's not just you who's missing out. Your project could be helping others... and that means you need to risk the highs and lows, the successes AND the failures. Ready? Join the Fail Is NOT A Four Letter Word workshop. Only 4 days left at the early-bird price so if you know you're ready to drop the baggage and put yourself in service, do book now.

#49 - X Factor

In the early stages of developing your inspirational ventures, there are so many "How do I.....?" questions. I often get asked by fellow coaches: "How do you get your clients?" so I wrote a short report to answer them easily. One reader wrote me a huge long email, full of questions. She was curious because it sounded so easy and wanted to know the science behind the magic - how was I really doing it? What was my process, what qualities was I employing, what was making the difference between a one-off encounter and a solid, long-lasting business relationship? Bottom-line was, she wanted to know what my 'x factor' was.

I realised how unconscious we often are of our own magic. It's so 'us' that we're unable to see what we're up to. One reason I often hear for women not starting their own businesses is: "But I do this so naturally, surely it can't be so easy to turn that into a business!?" We seem to have swallowed the belief somewhere along the line that says: 'Everything has to be hard and a struggle', and so we avoid what's right there, under our noses.

Here's a 5-step process for becoming conscious of your own X Factor, so that you can amplify it , harness it, and share it with others.

Step 1: Do What You Do Naturally
For a day (or a few hours at least), stop doing any 'should' activities. Just do what you love, what comes naturally. Reconnect with what's instinctively there.

Step 2: Start Peeking On What Comes Naturally
Casually notice what you're up to. "Ah, I phoned ten people in the last hour" or "I brought a sample of my favourite food to work and then everyone wanted the recipe". Don't go changing anything, simply notice.

Step 3: Become Conscious Of What You're Doing Naturally
Move from casual observation to conscientious awareness. Make a note of your most obvious qualities & activities (Some of mine, for example, are: Talking with strangers, Writing tons, Being out and about in Cambridge often, Doing things differently, Following my heart).

Step 4: Do These Things With Direction
Employ your natural strengths in a direction of your choosing. Focus on what you want to achieve and use your natural strengths to get you there - e.g. I use my writing to share coaching processes with others. Be deliberate, conscious and consistent.

Step 5: Share Your Learnings With Others
Every one of us does things differently. However, if you can share your process with others, it gives them an access map to find and develop their own natural ways, e.g. Show someone who's struggling with disorganisation how you make lists and then prioritise; it may give them a key to unlocking their own most effective ways of working.

When you hear yourself asking: "How do I....?", interpret it as "How do I already.....?" (rather than: "How should I....?") Keep learning from others, but put the essential ingredients in place first. Each piece of new information you receive, you can then decide how it relates to the foundation of you doing the things, in the ways, that you naturally do.

Do Things Differently
Follow the five steps above, with the intention of discovering how you do what you naturally do. Become intimately acquainted with your very own X Factor. Notice what it's like to play from your natural strengths, rather than from a rule book. And if you're feeling brave, ask five people in your life: what do THEY see as being your X Factor?

And if you're feeling REALLY brave, leave a comment on this blog, letting us all know :)

(c) Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2008
---------------

New! - Monthly E-Zine, The World Needs Your Passion. Issue #1 due out Friday 26th September. Click here to receive issues straight to your in-box.