I'm writing a book. It's for teenagers who excel academically and yet haven't really been given the opportunity to find out who they are. The corny catchphrase I'm working with at the moment is "helping intelligent young people become intelligent about themselves". I've got an outline, chapter one is nearly complete and I'm loving the process of writing it. My intention is to have it finished by the end of 2007.
The reason for me telling you all this is that I'd like to ask for accountability. Accountability is one aspect of coaching which makes it such an effective medium for change - and it's a feature that can so easily be misunderstood, even by coaches! So let's explore three ways of 'doing' accountability:
#1
This is the 'getting homework in on time' kind of accountability that we're probably most used to. In this dynamic, an authority figure is basically telling you what to do, when to do it, and to report in when done. The motivation is external and the 'handing it in' part often looks like begrudging compliance. If I was asking for this kind of accountability, you would see yourself as checking up on me: "Have you finished that chapter yet?" and nagging me if I wasn't getting it done. Our Saboteurs relish in this kind of accountability because it's rife with opportunities for judgements of 'not good enough'. Notice where in your life you encounter this.
#2
Take the emotion out - the blame and the guilt - and we're left with a factual 'account giving' kind of accountability. I'd simply be letting you know what progress I'm making with the book - what's happening? what am I learning? Notice where in your life you have this kind of objective space.
#3
#1
This is the 'getting homework in on time' kind of accountability that we're probably most used to. In this dynamic, an authority figure is basically telling you what to do, when to do it, and to report in when done. The motivation is external and the 'handing it in' part often looks like begrudging compliance. If I was asking for this kind of accountability, you would see yourself as checking up on me: "Have you finished that chapter yet?" and nagging me if I wasn't getting it done. Our Saboteurs relish in this kind of accountability because it's rife with opportunities for judgements of 'not good enough'. Notice where in your life you encounter this.
#2
Take the emotion out - the blame and the guilt - and we're left with a factual 'account giving' kind of accountability. I'd simply be letting you know what progress I'm making with the book - what's happening? what am I learning? Notice where in your life you have this kind of objective space.
#3
Add a different emotion to the mix - that of delight with every stage of the process. This accountability is where we get to celebrate what is. I get to say to you: "It's going really well", and that's okay, and "It's going really badly"... and that's okay too. You're assuming I'll do what I've said I'll do... AND you'll be accepting and curious if I don't do it. There's a blend of being compassionate and loving, whatever happens... AND staying unwaveringly focussed on the goal. Notice where in your life you get this kind of unconditional support - and what it allows you to be and do.
A final note on accountability. It's something that has to be asked for; it's a gift that's there with the sole purpose of supporting you in staying on track with what you want to do.
A final note on accountability. It's something that has to be asked for; it's a gift that's there with the sole purpose of supporting you in staying on track with what you want to do.
Oh, and in case you weren't sure what accountability I was asking for, it's the third kind please :0)
Inquiry: What would I love to be held accountable for?
Action: Use the Inquiry to bring to the forefront of your mind something you really want to do and yet have struggled to stay on track with in the past. Get clear on what the goal is and what kind of actions you want to be taking to move towards that goal. Now decide which kind of accountability you'd most value and ask someone to hold you accountable in that way. How do you want to check in with them? How do you want them to celebrate with you? How do you want them to be if you're not doing what you intended? Design them as the perfect tool for you, to help you achieve this meaningful goal. Notice what it's like to ask for support in a way which suits you - what kind of relationship it creates and what results it produces.
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