I received two pieces of information this week which made me literally squeal with joy. Firstly, I was successful in an application for a job I desperately wanted. Secondly, my brother and his wife told us that they're expecting a baby.
Joy isn't an unusual emotion for me - in fact, I'm quite known for it. After receiving the phone call about the job, I went skipping down the street. A woman working in an office saw me jumping past and looked at me in complete bemusement, to which my partner laughed and said: "That was such a Corrina moment!"
Joy doesn't seem to be a hugely common state of being, though. How often have we asked someone how they are and they reply: "I'm joyful!" or "Full of joy, thanks!" It's an emotion that almost seems frowned upon. It's often associated with being childish, silly, insubstantial. It's not deep, it's not something that anyone with adult responsibilities should feel, at least not for any amount of time. It shows that someone doesn't really get what life is about. We can talk about 'enjoying' a film or a holiday, but are we talking about the experience of feeling pure joy?
What brings you joy? For me, it's things like receiving good news, dancing, listening to uplifting music, cycling down hills, romance, feeling Spring arrive. What's your experience of joy when it shows up? For me, I feel lifted - like a surge of air has just entered my solar plexus and swept me off my feet. I can feel my eyes sparkling, my body tingling, and I want to sing, run, jump, dance.
What I notice about us humans is that we can block our pleasurable emotions just as much as, if not more than, our painful ones. Joy can feel almost too good to bear. Five minutes after receiving the phone call about my new job, I found myself talking about the logistics of something completely different, in planning and organisation mode. I checked myself and decided to bask in the joy of it for the whole evening instead.
Basking in joy for me means taking the joy deep and allowing it to spread. Breathing into the emotion, allowing it to fill every cell of my body, from my finger tips to the tips of my toes. As I do this, I can feel myself getting grounded, connected to the Earth, but also lifted still. I become a bigger, more vibrant, more alive version of myself. What's it like for you?
Inquiry: What brings me pure joy?
Action: Notice your response to this Ezine. How comfortable are you with the emotion of 'joy'? Does it make your squirm, feel distaste, or do you welcome it? Have you decided it's something only children feel, or something you accept within yourself? This week, be aware of any events or occurences which could cause you to feel joyful. See what it's like to allow yourself to go with that emotion and deepen your experience of it. How joyful can you allow yourself to be?
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
#32 - Perfection Paralysis
Yes, you're right, there's been no Ezine from me in nearly two months. It's not that there hasn't been anything to write about - in fact the opposite is true. I've had idea after idea... and got stuck trying to decide which one was the PERFECT one.
Let's call this phenomenon 'perfection paralysis'. Just nod your head sympathetically if you know what I'm talking about. It's where you endow whatever you're doing with huge importance and fixate on getting it 'right'. When I used to send weekly Ezines, I'd just write about whatever was happening that week but with the 'new improved' monthly format I've switched to, I've been trying to find just one glorious idea and hone it till it became perfect - a sure-fire way of destroying the creative impulse.
In coaching, we notice that where a pattern shows up in one area of someone's life, there's a high chance it's showing up somewhere else too. So I know for me that I have tons of brilliant ideas for how to take my work into schools and colleges... and don't take much action because I'm waiting to come up with the perfect package, presented in the most perfect way. I also know that I want to get the people I love the perfect birthday present so I wait and wait, thinking it'll come to me in a flash of inspiration, and then it gets too late that I get them the same mundane thing I got them last year. There's a giant gap between the perfect, the ideal.... and what you get when you do nothing.
When I was training as a teacher, we started with just one lesson a week to plan. Of course, it had to be THE PERFECT LESSON. So out came every resource under the sun, every clever creative way of conveying the topic... and the result was often a lesson which was way too convoluted. Not a lot of fun - for me or my students. I now notice that it's often the simple, skeletally planned lessons and workshops which have the impact - coming more from the gut and less from the complexities of the mind.
One way out of perfection paralysis is to make the doing of the task more important than the result. I'm writing this Ezine for the sake of doing it, not getting it perfect. I know there are lines that are bumpy, phrases that could be better. I'm letting that go.
When we make getting something 'right' the desired outcome, we can tie ourselves in knots. Instead, we can choose to see our lives as big laboratory experiments. Take action, notice what happens, learn, do something differently next time. This way, we're constantly moving forward and learning - and there's the joy of being human.
Ezines will be weekly and imperfect from now on.... :0)
Inquiry: Where in my life am I trying to be perfect? And what's the impact?
Action: Bring to mind something you've been putting off because you're waiting for it to be perfect. A hard conversation, an overdue letter to a friend, buying new clothes/furniture etc. Now... just do it. Let go of the need for it to be perfect and take action. Decide that moving forward is more important than getting it right and notice what shifts for you as you do this.
Let's call this phenomenon 'perfection paralysis'. Just nod your head sympathetically if you know what I'm talking about. It's where you endow whatever you're doing with huge importance and fixate on getting it 'right'. When I used to send weekly Ezines, I'd just write about whatever was happening that week but with the 'new improved' monthly format I've switched to, I've been trying to find just one glorious idea and hone it till it became perfect - a sure-fire way of destroying the creative impulse.
In coaching, we notice that where a pattern shows up in one area of someone's life, there's a high chance it's showing up somewhere else too. So I know for me that I have tons of brilliant ideas for how to take my work into schools and colleges... and don't take much action because I'm waiting to come up with the perfect package, presented in the most perfect way. I also know that I want to get the people I love the perfect birthday present so I wait and wait, thinking it'll come to me in a flash of inspiration, and then it gets too late that I get them the same mundane thing I got them last year. There's a giant gap between the perfect, the ideal.... and what you get when you do nothing.
When I was training as a teacher, we started with just one lesson a week to plan. Of course, it had to be THE PERFECT LESSON. So out came every resource under the sun, every clever creative way of conveying the topic... and the result was often a lesson which was way too convoluted. Not a lot of fun - for me or my students. I now notice that it's often the simple, skeletally planned lessons and workshops which have the impact - coming more from the gut and less from the complexities of the mind.
One way out of perfection paralysis is to make the doing of the task more important than the result. I'm writing this Ezine for the sake of doing it, not getting it perfect. I know there are lines that are bumpy, phrases that could be better. I'm letting that go.
When we make getting something 'right' the desired outcome, we can tie ourselves in knots. Instead, we can choose to see our lives as big laboratory experiments. Take action, notice what happens, learn, do something differently next time. This way, we're constantly moving forward and learning - and there's the joy of being human.
Ezines will be weekly and imperfect from now on.... :0)
Inquiry: Where in my life am I trying to be perfect? And what's the impact?
Action: Bring to mind something you've been putting off because you're waiting for it to be perfect. A hard conversation, an overdue letter to a friend, buying new clothes/furniture etc. Now... just do it. Let go of the need for it to be perfect and take action. Decide that moving forward is more important than getting it right and notice what shifts for you as you do this.
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