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Last weekend, I assisted with the first module of the Coach Training Institute programme. I've assisted a dozen times, in addition to participating in these modules myself, and was as ever inspired to witness a group of complete strangers connect within the first twenty minutes of knowing each other. There's something about the masterful design of this course which cuts straight to the heart of who we are and forms that deep bond.
Similarly, this weekend I ran my Fail Is Not A Four Letter Word workshop with a small group of gorgeous people. Again, I saw that same connection formed. The diversity is huge - some are parents, some are teenagers; some are in relationships, some are not; some run their own businesses, some are employed, some are students, some are retired. The range of age, gender, sexuality, family situation, career choice, wealth and geographical location is wide. And yet as soon as you start asking questions such as: What are you scared of? What are your dreams? we find ourselves on common ground. Yes, the differences are still there - we fear different things, we yearn for different things. Yet we all dream and we are all blocked by something.
The more I run workshops, the more I know that it's not the specific exercises or me as a facilitator that the participants are learning from. It's the SPACE which these 'particles' make possible which allows the meaningful conversations and insights. The magic is happening where human beings hear each other, see each other, and feel seen and heard and understood in return.
I've always sought out these spaces, where people can connect at a level where things matter most. When I lived in London, I went regularly to Alternatives and loved the opening exercise where we were invited to talk to the person either side of us, finding out who they were and why they were there. I've been dancing the Five Rhythms for several years, feeling so at home in that space where words are not needed and we can connect through our energy and communicate through our bodies. I love spaces which are created to connect with the seasons and the moon's cycles, like Katie Rose's Full Moon chanting groups.
These meetings and connections are so precious and so needed. Let's support, welcome, and create more of these spaces.
Do Things Differently
This week, seek out spaces where you can connect. What qualities make these spaces possible? What are your favourites - do they involve words, sound, movement? Are they in-person or virtual? Notice where you feel most at home, most seen, most alive. Comment here to share them with us. AND... create your own! How do YOU create a space which allows people to connect? You might throw a pot-luck dinner to celebrate the harvest - have people connect from their hunger and their satisfaction. You might invite a few people to form an intimate discussion group where 'dark and scary' topics can be spoken about (link in to Hallowe'en?) What do people need and want to connect about? How can you help them? Notice where your abilities meet others' needs.
(c) Corrina Gordon-Barnes
** Next date for my Fail Is Not A Four Letter Word workshop: Sat 7th February 2009. Booking now open If you're interested in being part of this and can't make 7th Feb, just drop me a line and I'll let you know when the next date is released. **
I've recently been reading a lot of advice about 'how to market your business'. One common message is: Focus on results. I thought this sounded sensible until I started really thinking about what motivates me. I'm a member of a private gym and go there most days; I swim, do Body Combat, and Body Balance. I do these because I love how I feel in the classes and in the pool. If the gym had marketed to me the messages: 'lose weight!' 'get toned!' 'get fit!', I would have ignored them. In fact, I did. However, when they allowed people to come along for free as part of their open weekend, I had a fantastic experience. I had endorphins zipping all over the place, felt strong, funky, relaxed, energised - and signed up. The fitness and weight loss have been bonuses but would never have got me parting with my money.
Likewise, today is World Car-Free Day, a time to showcase how our cities might look, feel and sound without cars. It's a hugely inspirational result to aim for - yet the result is not what motivates me to choose to travel by bike rather than car. I do so because I prefer the experience; I love how it feels to be out in the world, feeling the air on my skin, the sun on my face, to wave to people as I pass them by, to see my city up close and personal with all its precious nooks and crannies.
We're all different and it can be interesting to notice what we're motivated by - the results, the process... or both. I give away a lot of useful information for free; for example, there are now fifty posts on this blog. Often I get emails from readers who say that the insights and processes I've shared have led them to real results: changes in their life, big realisations. Sometimes there's a little fearful voice inside me which whispers: "But if you share all this for free, nobody will ever invest their money in your services." Yet the reality is that clients keep signing up for one-to-one coaching because of the process of coaching, as well as the results. That space of 40 minutes dedicated entirely to them every week or so. The feeling of being truly listened to. The experience of being seen and understood... and challenged! - given that "kick up the backside", as many call it :-) They keep attending workshops because of the feeling of a shared journey, the experience of interacting with other like-minded people, the space dedicated to exploration and discovery.
What I've realised is that once you're offering a service which brings both a fulfilling process AND fulfilling results, you know you are on to a winner.
Do It Differently
Notice what you're motivated by. The feeling of the process? The results? Both? If there's something you've been struggling with e.g. getting new clients, use your motivation as a guide. If you've been doing activities you hate, just to get the results, try focusing on the process instead. Do marketing activities you love and notice what that does to the results. Likewise, if you've been basking in activities you love, without any sense of direction, get clear about the results you're aiming for and channel your efforts that way (as I wrote about in Step 4 of the previous post). Additionally, in marketing your ventures, you might want to consider whether your clients/customers are more result or process oriented and then market in a way which truly speaks to them.
The World Needs Your Passion - The Monthly Ezine
I love sharing tools so much that I'm launching a new monthly ezine The World Needs Your Passion. This provides intelligent women with the motivation & practical strategies needed to create ventures which truly matter. The first issue is out this Friday and like this blog, is free and packed with value. To subscribe, click here.
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