#73 - Think For Yourself

It's not often I criticise but for the sake of Doing Things Differently, I want to share an experience which shook me this weekend.

I went to a talk by a highly articulate, charming and entertaining speaker. The topic was exactly my field of interest, his words were beautiful and I made copious notes. His core message made sense to me... and yet I also felt a nagging unease. It later became apparent that his governing agenda was to sign people up to become members of his global networking 'nation' which would cost a few thousand pounds. I happily pay to be affiliated with wonderful organisations so this wasn't the problem. No - here's what bothered me....

The more he talked, the smaller I felt. His promise was that if I joined his organisation, I would feel big, important and connected. If I joined his team, I'd be 'in', if I didn't, I was 'out'. His talk was about a more equitable world and yet when I looked for evidence of him walking the talk, I couldn't find it. His air miles, his choice of breakfast provision and large corporate hotel venue did not reflect the sustainable future to which he was referring. I tried to ask a question during his presentation, but I was ignored amid all the cheering, whooping, "Yes!" shouting and raised hands he was encouraging. I went over to speak one-to-one with him twice. He was like plastic. He wouldn't hold my eye contact and seemed entirely uninterested by me and my desire to connect. He didn't hear my acknowledgement and he batted away my questions.

I actually cried when I'd got far enough away from the venue to take a breath. I realised the feeling I had was of being violated - taken away from my own truth and whipped up into a 'bigger, faster, better' frenzy, so far from the message he ostensibly was conveying. Beautifully juxtaposed was what happened next. I hopped on a bus and asked the driver whether he went to Angel tube station; he looked at me with a smile and said, "YOU'RE an angel". I glowed for the next half hour. That's my compass - how I feel when one-to-one with a person and how I'm left feeling afterwards. A true leader is one where you come away feeling inspired to find YOUR way, YOUR possibilities. Where you feel big enough to lead, not scared enough to follow.

I've had my beloved grandmother staying with me the last few days and I am always fascinated by her tales of growing up as a Jewish girl under Nazi oppression. Perhaps I get so passionate about this topic because I still cannot understand the herd mentality which allowed such atrocities to take place. In a time of fear and uncertainty, charismatic leaders undoubtedly emerge, promising us wealth, safety and freedom - IF we go their way. We must keep thinking for ourselves. Healthy criticism and discernment are imperative. When a new idea comes our way, let us chew it. See how it tastes, see how we feel. Only then, let's decide if we want to swallow.

[And please chew, taste and feel THAT suggestion before even thinking about swallowing.....]

Do Things Differently
1) Inquiry: What is everyone jumping on board about... but something in you tells you otherwise? What would you have to do if you let yourself trust those instincts?
2) Action: Next time you hear a broadcast, read an article or blog post (yes, including mine!), engage head and heart fully and feel whether this is true for you. How do you know? How do you use your body, your instincts and your rational brain to decide? How do you ensure fear isn't speaking, or your Saboteur? What's your compass? Challenge: Be bold enough to say when you don't feel aligned with someone's message. Speak out in a crowd if no-one is questioning the status quo. Dare to do things differently, for the sake of freedom of thought.
3) Leave a comment here, letting us know your take on thinking for yourself. Refreshing? Challenging? Have you needed to be brave, put your neck on the line, stand out from the crowd or lose friends? Have you gained new respect, realised others thought the same, or felt more fulfilled because you were living your truth? Let us know....

Ooh - and do look closely at the picture. Herd mentality.....? :)

(c) Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2009

#57 - Your Slice Of The World

Where were you when you heard that Obama would be the next American president? I was in bed, it was 6am, and I got a text from my dad with lots of exclamation marks. I almost cried with joy, as I know many did do. On Facebook, my friends' statuses were jubilant, my clients that day had renewed vigour, women at the gym were beaming. It was literally as if the air had changed, the atmosphere had a different smell, the whole world was a different colour.

As far as I saw it, this wasn't about a man of mixed-race who represented triumph at the end of a long, hard civil rights battle. I'm not naive enough to believe that all divisions and inequalities had dissolved. Obama is still a middle-class, Christian, heterosexual male and as such has more demographically in common with George Bush than with me. The day he was elected was also the day Californians voted against same-sex marriage.

No, what is new and refreshing and inspirational is this man's ability to hold a vision and expand it to an ever-increasing slice of the world. To touch more and more people with his realistic idealism, his genuinely-believed "Anything is possible" ideology, his focus on peace, democracy and earth stewardship. He stands in his role as a true leader, someone you can believe in and trust in. How he speaks - no notes, so relaxed, so in his body - inspired me to buy a book on Transformational Speaking, so hungry was I to learn what he does so seemingly effortlessly.

My client summed it up beautifully, saying: "I feel now we can shake off the cynicism". For a while now, my friend and I have had a familiar faithful conversation where we bemoan the lack of true leaders in the world. Now, we don't get to play so passive any more. Obama shows that we need to throw away the excuses and say "Yes we can" - and then get on and do it.

If we want leaders like Obama, we need to support them, vote for them, become them. There is no shortage of brilliant, inspirational people in our world. Let's just make sure they know how significant they are and play the roles they are here to play.

Do Things Differently
1) Make a list of ten people, alive today, who give you hope, who inspire you, who you're happy to have in charge of their slice of the world, no matter how big or small that piece is. Alongside their name, identify why it matters that they play that role.
2) Share this with each of them - alert that person to their own significance. They might not have a clue. Also, find a way of supporting them.
3) Scan the list you made in the first section and notice which values popped up repeatedly. Allow yourself to realise what's most important/significant for you - this might help you with the next step...
4) Finally, identify which slice of life you are currently responsible for. How are you doing? What's next for YOU as a leader in this area? (Hint: It's probably a step that feels scary) Do it! :-)

(c) Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2008