#73 - Think For Yourself

It's not often I criticise but for the sake of Doing Things Differently, I want to share an experience which shook me this weekend.

I went to a talk by a highly articulate, charming and entertaining speaker. The topic was exactly my field of interest, his words were beautiful and I made copious notes. His core message made sense to me... and yet I also felt a nagging unease. It later became apparent that his governing agenda was to sign people up to become members of his global networking 'nation' which would cost a few thousand pounds. I happily pay to be affiliated with wonderful organisations so this wasn't the problem. No - here's what bothered me....

The more he talked, the smaller I felt. His promise was that if I joined his organisation, I would feel big, important and connected. If I joined his team, I'd be 'in', if I didn't, I was 'out'. His talk was about a more equitable world and yet when I looked for evidence of him walking the talk, I couldn't find it. His air miles, his choice of breakfast provision and large corporate hotel venue did not reflect the sustainable future to which he was referring. I tried to ask a question during his presentation, but I was ignored amid all the cheering, whooping, "Yes!" shouting and raised hands he was encouraging. I went over to speak one-to-one with him twice. He was like plastic. He wouldn't hold my eye contact and seemed entirely uninterested by me and my desire to connect. He didn't hear my acknowledgement and he batted away my questions.

I actually cried when I'd got far enough away from the venue to take a breath. I realised the feeling I had was of being violated - taken away from my own truth and whipped up into a 'bigger, faster, better' frenzy, so far from the message he ostensibly was conveying. Beautifully juxtaposed was what happened next. I hopped on a bus and asked the driver whether he went to Angel tube station; he looked at me with a smile and said, "YOU'RE an angel". I glowed for the next half hour. That's my compass - how I feel when one-to-one with a person and how I'm left feeling afterwards. A true leader is one where you come away feeling inspired to find YOUR way, YOUR possibilities. Where you feel big enough to lead, not scared enough to follow.

I've had my beloved grandmother staying with me the last few days and I am always fascinated by her tales of growing up as a Jewish girl under Nazi oppression. Perhaps I get so passionate about this topic because I still cannot understand the herd mentality which allowed such atrocities to take place. In a time of fear and uncertainty, charismatic leaders undoubtedly emerge, promising us wealth, safety and freedom - IF we go their way. We must keep thinking for ourselves. Healthy criticism and discernment are imperative. When a new idea comes our way, let us chew it. See how it tastes, see how we feel. Only then, let's decide if we want to swallow.

[And please chew, taste and feel THAT suggestion before even thinking about swallowing.....]

Do Things Differently
1) Inquiry: What is everyone jumping on board about... but something in you tells you otherwise? What would you have to do if you let yourself trust those instincts?
2) Action: Next time you hear a broadcast, read an article or blog post (yes, including mine!), engage head and heart fully and feel whether this is true for you. How do you know? How do you use your body, your instincts and your rational brain to decide? How do you ensure fear isn't speaking, or your Saboteur? What's your compass? Challenge: Be bold enough to say when you don't feel aligned with someone's message. Speak out in a crowd if no-one is questioning the status quo. Dare to do things differently, for the sake of freedom of thought.
3) Leave a comment here, letting us know your take on thinking for yourself. Refreshing? Challenging? Have you needed to be brave, put your neck on the line, stand out from the crowd or lose friends? Have you gained new respect, realised others thought the same, or felt more fulfilled because you were living your truth? Let us know....

Ooh - and do look closely at the picture. Herd mentality.....? :)

(c) Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2009

#65 - Right Footing

We have a number of New Year traditions. From my partner's grandparents, we've inherited and modified a version of 'first footing'. Just after midnight, Sam leaves the house as the old year, carrying away anything we want to let go of AND our appreciation for all that is to be celebrated. She then returns as the new year and is welcomed in holding three objects to represent fuel, food and wealth. We like to ensure it's eco-fuel - 2008 was a solar lamp, 2009 an energy-saving light bulb... We then go out into our neighbourhood to wish everyone a magical year ahead.

We also spend a day on what we call Reflection and Intention. We go back through last year's calendar, plucking out the gifts. The challenges with all their learning and the strength we developed to deal with them; our achievements and how we celebrated them; and the heart-warming surprises and little kind touches which made the year what it was. We make lists and gather photos. We treasure the chance to do this and are horrified to think that these precious memories might otherwise get lost. We then decide what ingredients we want to ensure are present in the new year and put the list on a wall as a reminder of what our priorities are.

I love this time of year because the air is always buzzing with hope and possibilities - and I love it because that's what I want for every day. Greeting people and wishing them health and happiness, prosperity, dreams come true; having encounters which start off on the right footing - Good morning, Namaste, Aloha.

Several of my clients have a value called 'day one', 'fresh start', 'blank page' or a variation on that theme. Just as we are continually given new mornings, so do we always hold the power to change the course of our life in any moment. Whether at the level of thought, word or deed, if we catch ourselves engaged in something which doesn't align with our values or vision for who we want to be, we can in that moment choose differently.

That's why I call them New Way Resolutions because the opportunity to find a new way exists in every moment that we decide to be at choice in our lives. There is a band of inspirational women, committed to steering their lives, who subscribed to the New Way Resolution e-course and received their first issue this morning. I'm so looking forward to hearing from them how the step-by-step process, over the month, supports them in making meaningful shifts in their lives.

When my partner and I got married, we entered through two archways, met in the middle, and then walked down a few steps together. We practised that walk several times and when we watch the video of the day, we see ourselves grinning as we hold hands and focus on walking in step.

As this new year stands open before us with its abundant possibilities, what are we holding hands with? What are we ensuring our steps are aligned with? How will we set our intentions, decide our course?

Doing Things Differently
1. What are your New Year traditions? How do you - or how do you want to - seize this opportunity for reflection and intention? If you need inspiration, you might like to ask your family for their traditions, or search on-line. Squeeze one or two in at the start of this year and calendar them in for the next.
2. Ask: What are my priorities for 2009? What key ingredients do I intend to focus on?
3. If there were a newspaper headline for this year, what would it be?
4. Share on this blog your nuggets from 2008 and your vision for 2009.

(c) Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2009

** Ready to get unstuck? Want to escape the grip of procrastination?**
It could be fear of failure that's holding you back. Start 2009 on the right footing with the Fail Is Not A Four Letter Word workshop.
The Early Bird price ends this Saturday (9th Jan) so book now and enjoy a £10 discount**

** Grab 2009 and start doing things differently **
This is your last chance to join the merry group of committed women who started today on their New Way Resolutions journey. Click here for more details and book YOUR journey - only £7.50. **