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We used to sleep in the loft. The previous owners had it converted into a beautiful bedroom space that many our visitors have made appreciative noises about. However, the designers neglected to include heating so for four years we shivered through cold winter nights. This week we finally admitted that much as we'd tried, it just wasn't working for us. It was time for a change, time to take ownership so we pulled the bed apart and moved it down to the first floor. Other rooms had to be gutted and rearranged to compensate which was hard work but very much worth it. Our primary goal has been attained - we're cosier and more comfortable - and there have been extra benefits too. We want to invite people round more, it's better for our relationship, and I've got a more organised office space.The house just makes more sense this way round, with rooms having more appropriate roles, and we've felt much more inclined to tidy and clean (I've turned into a super-proud domestic goddess, in fact).
Change isn't always easy, pleasant or beautiful. Sometimes we have to create a mess before we get things in order. If you'd taken a snapshot of us trying to squeeze the mattress down our spiralling staircase or the two of us attempting a four-burly-men reassembly job, then you'd have thought we were worse off than if we'd still been in that cold bedroom. My clients experience this too. Sometimes they risk a change and things don't go brilliantly at first: a new kind of work is far more exhausting than the previous one, they take brave moves and others don't respond well or they sell their house and the eco-community they dreamed of finding doesn't emerge.
This is why it's so important to remember that finding and following our passion is a journey. There will be wrong turns... and also right turns which go up hills before we can sail down the other side. There may be chaos initially and things can look worse before they get better. This is why I love the metaphor of a sliding puzzle which you'll see as the image above. The picture could look 90% right but if we want the picture to be complete, something has to give. We have to change some thing, make the move and risk dismantling and rearranging if we want to really go for what we want.
Do Things Differently
What one thing could you change? What could be reallocated or rearranged to get things moving in the direction you want? For example, reallocating ten minutes of your day to meditation or planning, asking to reduce your employed hours to four days a week or turning the corner of a room into a mini home office. Make a list of options and then do one. What happens when you change one thing? Let us know.... ** Want to change something... but scared of failing? ** Every time we change something, there's a chance we'll fail. How are you with that possibility? For many of us, failing is not an option we embrace and so we stay stuck, not taking that risk. The impact? Stagnation, abandoned projects, bottom line = not achieving what we want to achieve or being as happy or fulfilled as we know we can be.
Click here to find out more about a workshop that will change this for you. NB The early-bird deadline of 30th April is getting closer so if you'd like to join us, save £10 by booking in the next couple of weeks.
(c) Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2009.
I have been immersed in workshops this weekend. I ran my full-day Fail Is Not A Four Letter Word on Saturday and then threw myself into the experience of Katie Rose's Singing The Song That We Are on Sunday. Both were gloriously full with eager participants, despite the snow and distance they had to travel. Many of us have been to workshops which engaged only our brains. We've sat with paper and pen, talked through relatively superficial questions, and left without knowing each others' names. When I go to a workshop, I want to be taken on a journey. I want to go from somewhere to somewhere and I want to trust the workshop facilitator to be my guide. I want them to have a map, but not grip on to it too firmly. Katie did this beautifully. There was a flow from one exercise to the next and my whole body was involved through sound, movement, words, drama and more. She stood back and allowed us to explore and then stepped in with her exquisite intuition to nudge us towards new places to look. I left the day with so much serenity, humming contentedly to myself all the way home. When I go on these journeys, I also want to feel like others are there with me - that's we're seeing each other and being seen. I am always blown away by how my fear-of-failure-busting gang connects and supports each other. This group shared hugs and tears, acknowledgements and whoops of celebration. They've all swapped emails and are already continuing their conversations. In fact, a couple of them have suggested that they have a six month reunion - and this is a group who spent just six hours with each other. It is a precious honour to be trusted to guide people through a learning journey and this weekend I've been reminded of how equally wonderful it is to find someone, such as Katie, who can do that for me. It's a true skill to create a space safe enough for a group of strangers to explore an issue such as fear of failure, resistance, self-doubt, and insecurities. After my workshop, one of the more apprehensive participants said to me: "It was amazing how quickly and easily I could open up to people I didn't know. I realised that we were all in the same boat so no-one was judging anyone else". If as a workshop facilitator you can set up the expectation of openness and model vulnerability, something sacred is created. It's a container which allows people to let go and go deep. They can cry and sing and shout - as they did this weekend! - and actually move through a block, rather than merely thinking about it. Do Things Differently 1) What kind of journey do you already take others on? Fear to freedom? Stress to calm? Overwhelm to simplicity? Unfitness to health? What do you do naturally, just because of who you are? - and are there ways in which you could package this and actually offer that journey as a 1-1 or group process? 2) What journey are you ready for? Where do you want to go from and to? Who can be your guide? 3) Check out Katie's website, The Rose Window, for her full moon chanting, workshops & upcoming second album launch.(c) Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2009
** There's no Doing Things Differently next week so here's a challenge... If YOU were writing this blog, what would you write about? Where are you noticing yourself doing - or wanting to do - things differently? How could your experiences help others in finding new pathways? **
** Fail workshop coming to London.... June 2009, date and venue tbc. Book early to avoid disappointment**
We used to sleep in the loft. The previous owners had it converted into a beautiful bedroom space that many our visitors have made appreciative noises about. However, the designers neglected to include heating so for four years we shivered through cold winter nights. This week we finally admitted that much as we'd tried, it just wasn't working for us. It was time for a change, time to take ownership so we pulled the bed apart and moved it down to the first floor. Other rooms had to be gutted and rearranged to compensate which was hard work but very much worth it. Our primary goal has been attained - we're cosier and more comfortable - and there have been extra benefits too. We want to invite people round more, it's better for our relationship, and I've got a more organised office space.The house just makes more sense this way round, with rooms having more appropriate roles, and we've felt much more inclined to tidy and clean (I've turned into a super-proud domestic goddess, in fact). 
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