#59 - Selling Away Dreams

Recently, I was invited back to my old secondary school. It's been over a decade since I left yet walking the corridors still evoked powerful emotions. The pride of achievement, a deep loneliness, the sparkle of mischief.

I wasn't there to talk about the rollercoaster of teen life, however. I was there to speak at their Careers Convention about enterprise - or more specifically, How To Start A Business By Accident. I had a scheduled speaking slot and also a consultation table where a short queue developed. Students and their parents sat down expectantly, wondering what this world of enterprise might hold for them.

One story in particular had a big impact on me. A mother and daughter joined me and I asked the girl, "So, what are you interested in?" She looked down and shrugged nervously, "I don't know". It was quite late in the evening and she'd clearly been to table after table, gathering information on careers in engineering, accountancy, law etc. I ascertained that she was in Year 8 (a.k.a 12 or 13 years old) and so qualified the question with a smile: "I don't mean what you're interested in later, I mean now." She still looked bewildered until her mum whispered to her: "You like dancing, don't you?" Suddenly, the girl lit up. "Wow!" I said. "What do you love about dancing?" A different person answered me - a lively, confident, excited young woman who seemed energised just by the thought of being on stage. "It sounds like you feel at home there", I said. She nodded enthusiastically. Whereas before she'd avoided eye contact, she now couldn't take her eyes off me. Her mum looked a little anxious and informed me: "Yes, but I've told her it's a very competitive field and she should pursue something else as a career and do dancing as a hobby". The girl's head fell again and she nodded compliantly.

Why? Why do we sell our dreams away so easily? The sadness I feel at a story like this is my constant inspiration to keep doing what I do. Any time someone calls me 'naive' or an 'idealist', I tell them of the so many people I know who are fully living their dreams. Whose passions got them through the challenges of competition, whose drive kept them going through any obstacles in their way. This is realism and it's time teenagers - and indeed all of us - really get that life is just too short to do anything other than what brings us fully alive.

People aren't meant to know at age 12 or 13 what they want to do for a career. They are meant to have their passions nurtured, they are meant to feel that they are valid, important, significant human beings - right now, as they are in these moments. They are meant to be encouraged to fill their lives with as much joy as possible, trusting that the path of their heart will continually lead them through a fulfilling life. They are certainly not meant to sell their dreams away before they've even fully formed.

This is the perspective I offered that girl and her mum - who herself had spent the last 30 years doing work she didn't care about. I hope it awakened something in them both.

And yes, if you're wondering - that photo is me at age 13.

Do Things Differently
1) Connect with the 13 year old you. What did you dream of? What could you spend hours and hours engrossed in? Where or what felt most like 'home'?
2) What happened to those dreams? Were they supported, strengthened and explored? Did they die of their own accord, replaced by more powerful dreams? Or were they sold away?
3) Give your 13 year old self an hour to do what she wants. Does she play guitar, help at an animal sanctuary, develop a computer programme? Given that your adult self could now turn your passions into the basis for work, what of your working life might you like to do differently?
4) Extra: You might like to listen to Pink's Conversations With My 13 Year Old Self

(c) Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2008

* * Just a few days until the launch of my A Business Called You workshop. You can listen to a very short description of this here:

If your 13 year old self would like to join us in exploring the dream of having your own business, leave your email here and the booking administrator will contact you to reserve your place. Do leave your details even if you can't make this Saturday and I will let you know when it runs again * *

#56 - Crash Boom

I've been keeping a fascinated eye on the emerging changes in our global monetary system and when I hear that phrase, 'economic crisis', I picture this....

Meet Economy. He's the star of his time. He appears to be thriving to the outside world - growing ever more successful, beaming ever more brightly. Yet, if we look carefully, behind him there trails a foul smell and a dark shadow. Still he keeps going, until something inside starts malfunctioning. Something starts hurting. Reluctantly, he goes to the doctor who tells him that the years of self-deception and neglect have taken their toll and his health is in crisis. It is, in fact, life-threatening.

What does Economy do? If he has any sense, he stops, sits down, and looks with great honesty at his lifestyle. He uses this crisis as a chance to assess what's working and what's not and to give himself a fresh start, built on different foundations.

If WE look with honesty, we can see that our economic system hasn't been working. It's been eating up resources and changing our climate. Money, which was created as a means by which we could fairly share our skills and produce, is now often used as an excuse to do the opposite. Our perpetual-growth model makes little sense when we live on a planet of finite natural resources.

So, Economy has been none-too-healthy and needs to make some deep, far-reaching changes - and how about us?

Well, we've been seduced. Our economic set-up has tempted us away from our passion. We've made Faustian bargains, having been promised: "Do this job that's mindless, boring, stressful and pointless... and I'll give you security now and forever more". We work and work, waiting for pay-day or pension-day or holidays, believing in that bargain. Yet once we start to catch a glimmer of the possibility that we've been selling our soul to an entity which can't be trusted, what happens to that faith?

I know that people hire me as their coach because they're seeking faith in something new. They're fed up with wasting their lives and getting nothing reliable in return. They want to turn their inspirational ideas into reality and all the messages which say they should plod on and consume and earn their 9-5 wage to keep the cogs a-turning just aren't believable any more.

Maybe as the system falls, we'll all make new deals. Maybe we'll make deals with our planet, which really would always be there for us if we cared for, respected and attended to it. Maybe we'll make deals with ourselves, with our health, with others, and with those we love the most. Maybe we'll really hear that the world needs our passion, and needs it now.

Do Things Differently
This week, make a list of the deals you've made in relation to the economic set-up. What have you sold your soul for? What have you received, or what are you hoping to receive - as compensation? What's the deal with your bank? - what specifically do they do with the money you deposit with them for safe-keeping? If you don't know, ask them. What's the deal with your employer, your customers, your colleagues? Now, decide what deals you want to make. What do you want money to be for? What do you want to work for? What do you want to invest your time and energy in? What do you want to receive in return?

Finally, let us know of any inspirational finance systems you've come across. I've been a long-term investor with Triodos Bank who continue to give me hope in a resilient, sustainable banking model. I also enjoy using my local LETS scheme. I invite you to share your favourites with us here.

(c) Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2008

#55 - Making Meaning

Our car broke down on the way to our family holiday. I’m not a great fan of driving, get scared when mechanical things break, and so freaked out somewhat. We had a boot full of stuff, a brother waiting en-route for a pick-up, and I found myself having a good desperate cry.

Then in to my mind, came a question: What do I want this to mean? I’d heard this question from a fellow coach who used it to find meaning in a personal tragedy. With regards this relatively insignificant event, it flipped a switch in my mind immediately. It changed the direction of my thoughts, reminding me that we get to choose the meaning we assign to any event.

Opening to that question turned the experience in to an adventure. Coming out of my closed, anxious state, I went and spoke to the manager of the petrol station; his name was Star and he was, helping push our car to the side of the forecourt and offering us free tea and coffee with a warm smile. We had brief, friendly connections withother drivers who pulled alongside us, asking if we needed help.

I was nervous as I phoned our breakdown recovery service as we'd recently switched from a more well-known provider. We chose the ETA (Environmental Transport Association) because they campaign for sustainable transport, promote car-free days, and extol the benefits of cycling... but when it came to the crunch, how would they fare on the service that we were actually paying for?

Well... the recovery vehicle was with us in 40 minutes (much quicker than the last organisation). The mechanic, Shaun, was extremely helpful and patient, talking us through the process, giving us options, allowing us as much time as we needed to weigh up costs and make our decision. He was passionate about his work and was able to fix the car so that we could continue our journey. He even phoned a few hours later to check everything was still okay.

By the time we were on the road again, we were even cheerier than we'd been at the start of the journey, full of respect for good people doing good work. The choice was to see this occurrence as an opportunity to connect with people we wouldn't normally be in contact with and acknowledge them for their superlative work. It became a chance to experience first-hand whether our ethical breakdown cover was any good in practice, which has given me the opportunity to promote it here to hundreds of people. It was also a timely reminder that we are always meaning-makers, not the passive victims of life's circumstances.

Do Things Differently

This week, catch yourself responding to challenges. Notice your default - the stories you tell yourself about what's happening, and then interrupt yourself with this question: What do I want this to mean? No matter how big or small the challenge, decide what interpretation you want to give it. Notice what it’s like to consciously choose your perspective and therefore the response you have – both in how you feel and the actions you take.

(c) Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2008

** Choosing the meaning you assign to events is an integral part of the one-to-one coaching journey. To find out what difference this could make to you, simply register for a free consultation **

If you join the ETA and quote my membership number - -10208853 - you'll receive 3 months breakdown cover for free. You'll be helping fund ETA's sustainable travel campaigning as well as funding projects such as re-planting rainforests & providing energy-saving lightbulbs to small communities in the developing world. Call now 0800 212 810 or visit www.eta.co.uk

#53 - Get Into Pairs

I'm delighted to be showcasing one of my favourite ever ventures: Morsbags. The story is - an inspirational young woman named Claire Morsman realised the devastating impact of plastic bags on marine animals. Rather than starting a campaign to stop people using plastic bags, she decided to create an alternative and came up with 'social guerilla bagging'. This involves groups of people getting together with a few sewing machines to turn recycled material into beautiful, useful bags and then distributing these outside supermarkets etc. Not only has she created a proactive solution to a problem, she's inspired people to connect and get creative - and ultimately become more alive and involved in their world.

I first made a bag at an event several months ago where Claire was guiding people through the process. I can't tell you how proud I am of that bag - if you see me in person, ask me to show it to you as I carry it everywhere I go. Apparently that one bag will save me using about 80 plastic bags and it's immensely satisfying to refuse a bag and put shopping in my home-made one instead. We managed to acquire a sewing machine via my father-in-law's colleague, my grandma visited to teach me how to use the machine, and then a friend and I got together to start a little creative pod here in Cambridge.

On her website, Claire has paired up a Sad Fact (over 1 million plastic bags are consumed per minute globally) with a Happy Fact (making morsbags will help immediately). We can see this problem/solution match being true for so many aspects of this venture:

Sad fact: Old sewing machines are sitting around gathering dust
Happy fact: This project is inspiring new generations to learn old skills and perhaps reconnect with our society's elders

Sad fact: People feel isolated
Happy fact: This is an excuse to get together with existing friends, make new friends and feel part of a community

Sad fact: People feel bored and sit in front of the TV all evening
Happy fact: Here's a way of spending time creatively, doing something enjoyable and unusual

Sad fact: People feel useless and unimportant
Happy fact: We can start seeing ourselves as needed, useful, able to make a difference

With this kind of inspirational project, we are powerfully matching up needs and solutions. This is what any business venture is meant to be about - using our genius to come up with win-win ways forward. Rather than simply 'what does the world need?' and 'how do we NEED to solve it?' - let's ask: What does the world need and how would I LOVE to offer a solution?

Do Things Differently
List the things that you feel most sad/angry/frustrated about in the world. Now list activities you would LOVE doing which would offer solutions. Then: What's the first step? What could you do right NOW - literally, in the next five minutes? Notice what it's like to be the solution. I invite you to share your thoughts as comments on this blog - to inspire others and create some momentum for yourself to get into action.

(c) Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2008

NB The idea of the world needing our passion is at the heart of the work I do with each coaching client - helping her connect with that passion and get in to sustained action to create an inspirational venture. To book a consultation to explore how you might benefit from this support, simply click here.

#43 - Grow Up

Back in 1992, a 12 year old girl called Severn Suzuki spoke at the UN Earth Summit- watch here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZsDliXzyAY

The energy of this speech awakens something in me. Here is a young person who is angry. She is an unadulterated reminder of that inherent sense of right and wrong which we all possess, and the simplicity of her words bring home to us the obvious priority of our environmental situation. The imperatives she uses - "stop", "don't", "change" - are words we're used to adults using with children, yet here is a young person addressing adults in this tone.

The energy of angry teenage idealism always inspires me and it's an energy we need now more than ever. We need to get indignant. We need to get disgusted and baffled and horrified by what's continuing to happen on this planet, despite everything we know and have known for as long as I've been alive. We need to connect with the part of us that just knows that it's wrong to consume and waste to the extent we are now and we then need to allow that energy to power us forward into radical, inspirational solutions.

We might say "oh well it's easy to be idealistic when you're young". It's actually not. It's frustrating beyond belief to feel like you have all these ideas for how the world should be and yet feel that the power is with the 'grown-ups' who aren't using it very well. I think lots of us still feel like those dis-empowered children when we see what politicians and corporations are doing. We feel hopeless and impotent and switch on the telly instead.

We are adults. We DO get to act, we DO have power, we CAN implement plans. We get to enact one of the most powerful equations - IDEALISM + ACTION = WORLD-CHANGING. In her speech, Severn says: "I don't have all the solutions". As a teenager, she doesn't necessarily know the 'how' of what she's fighting for, but she knows she must fight. As we become adults, we need to keep hold of that indignant sense of purpose and then add the'how' . We learn the mechanics, practicalities, solutions and pathways so that we can use that knowledge to make our vision real in the world. In short, we become adults so that we can add the 'how' to the teenage vision. Let's not get confused and choose the 'how' instead of the vision.

We can take the treasure of those teenage years - the passion, the feisty make-things-right energy - and give it a channel. We can be impassioned adults, truly able to make a difference. I work with clients like this every week, people who have huge, inspirational visions. By working together to get them clear on their visions and committed to them, they find that they just have to find the resources to manifest them. They realise that when they're fuelled by that passionate urgency, they HAVE to find the how-to. And they always do.

For You
What did you get angry about in your early teens? What issues most bothered you? How did you want to change the world? Maybe you felt that you were 'only a child' and couldn't really make a difference. Now connect with what's true for you today - do the same issues fire you up, or others? Find the emotion and the passion that can be your fuel. What are you compelled to change, make better, make more sane in the world? If you simply had to do this, what would you do? And what would you do TODAY?