#9 - Gardens

Isn't it interesting how we say we own, buy or rent a "new house" when actually what we have is land, often consisting partly of a house, partly of a garden (or two). I wonder why we think of our garden as the subsidiary, merely an add-on. We know that for our survival we need food, water, air and shelter and the garden can provide us with three, if not all four, of these things.

So, what's growing in our gardens? This week alone, I've had these encounters:

*eating strawberries with friends in the weekend sunshine
* lying on a rug watching the sun set with the birds singing around me
* a friend's BBQ with her garden lit by tealight candles and fairy lights
* playing swingball with a young boy
* picking rocket and lettuce from our veggie patch and adding it to lunch
* hearing the sounds of the neighbourhood's children playing for hours

What's growing, then, is friendship, sharing, community, nourishment, connections, health, childhood. In our gardens, things are simple, pure, basic; we get what we put in. In our gardens we can feel connected with the surrounding community as a whole, yet still retain our individual boundaries. With all this, doesn't it seem peculiar that gardening isn't taught at schools?

I first started dabbling in gardening several years ago, after time in hospital. Being surrounded by nature inspired me because it showed my cycles of growth and offered the hope of renewal. Pulling up weeds symbolised getting rid of all that I no longer needed and clearing the way for the new; in coaching, it could be seen that we "weed" for unhelpful beilefs, to make room for the seeds we choose to grow.

Action: This week, use your garden for a purpose you haven't used it for before. Take five minutes to sit out there and ask yourself what it could offer you. Maybe dinner al fresco? Perhaps rigging up a basketball net and shooting some hoops? Or how about inviting some of your neighbourhood round for a summer party? Notice how your world expands when your "home" extends into the great outdoors.

Inquiry: How can I make my world expand?

#8 - Eyesight

For those of you who don't know, I am on a journey of healing. I have been short-sighted since the age of three and have a prescription of minus 11 diopters. This basically means I would need to have something very near my face to be able to see it clearly and so have worn strong glasses for all my life. As a teenager, I planned on having laser surgery when I reached 21 but I now have a different plan.

Several years ago I stumbled upon a book called 'Natural Vision Improvement' by Janet Goodrich. For the first time, I learnt that there was another way of regaining my vision which worked on eliminating the original cause of the error and this cause was - in a nutshell - strain. A normal-seeing eyeball is round, whereas a short-sighted eyeball is shaped more like a rugby ball because the muscles around and behind the eye have strained to see and so pulled the eyeball into a different shape. When light rays hit the rugby ball eyes, they refract at an angle which causes the visual blur.

Since finding this book, I've found there are many people working in this area of vision healing. Dr William Bates originated the realisation of eye problems being caused by strain and his 'Bates method' is widely practised ( http://www.seeing.org/). Meir Schneider was certified as legally blind and used the Bates method to restore his vision to a point where he can now drive without glasses ( http://www.self-healing.org/), Dr Janet Goodrich used the Bates method together with Reichian therapy and developed emotional and physical techniques (http://www.naturalvisionimprovement.net/ ), Aldous Huxley wrote 'The Art of Seeing' after using the Bates method to conquer near-blindness, and Leo Angart incorporates NLP with the Bates method (http://www.vision-training.com/ ).

The fundamental understanding of the Bates method is that in order to restore our natural vision, we need to eliminate the strain to see. The main technique used is called 'palming' which involves closing the eyes and then placing our hands over them, without touching the eyes themselves. This blocks out the light and so allows the eyes to rest.

I've had quite remarkable breakthroughs from this work. I now cycle into town (30 minutes), cook, read, work and watch telly without glasses and have gone for whole days without wearing them at all. This would have been unheard of a year ago and anyone who can relate to the degree of short-sight that I had can appreciate this achievement. My vision returns when I allow it to - when I don't strain.

Inquiry: Where do I strain?

Action: Take time out of your day for ten minutes today and just sit quietly with your eyes closed. Give palming a try. Breathe. Notice the strain dissolving and notice how that feels.

#7 - Consciously Creating

This month I'm enjoying creating a website for my coaching business and what's fascinating about the process is that it's inviting me to get really clear about who I want to work with and what I have to offer them.

So let me share with you what I'm realising... My 'niche' area isn't connected so much with the gender, age, occupation etc. of a person but with what they desire to do and who I'm passionate about working with are people who want to create. This could be anything - a family, a business, a wedding, a home, a school, good health, a loving relationship, a round-the-world trip - and the common factor is: they want to create consciously. They want to create in tune with their values and when I coach people, this is the foundation from which we always start.

The main block to successful conscious creating? A belief that we're not good enough. We think that either we don't have the ability or the resourcefulness to create what we want, or we believe that we don't deserve a positive outcome in this area. And this leads us to self-sabotage - giving ourselves too many options, going round in circles, weaving a web of chaos and overwhelm. Coaching steps in at this point - creating a framework within which the client realises that they ARE able, they ARE good enough, and that the Universe is actually set up to support happiness.

My website is a tool that I'll be using to consciously create. I get to create my niche - create a client base full of people who truly inspire me by what they're creating in the world. If you've been reading this with an inner squeal of "that's me!" then I would be delighted to offer you a free sample session; just drop me an email.

Inquiry: What do I long to create?

Action: Take a piece of paper and put in the centre an aspect of your life (e.g. money, my business, health). Remind yourself of some of your values (e.g. abundance, the buzz, being of service) and surround the central word with these values. Then branch off out of the centre with more details about how this area would be if you let yourself consciously create it as big as you dare (e.g. £50,000 savings in the bank; a published article in The Guardian; running the marathon in 2007). Notice where the glass ceilings are in your imagination and where you sabotage yourself by not believing in yourself. Notice - and take one step this week that moves you into creating what you really want.

#6 - Wedded Bliss

Doing Weddings Differently

I am a very proud woman as my little brother got married this weekend. Not only am I proud because he has found such a wonderful partner but because their wedding represented what they are up to in the world.

The bridge's engagement ring was bought on Ebay - they chose it together and found the perfect gem stone for her. She also made her own dress - buying material from the local market and getting some seamstress help from a neighbour. They catered the entire wedding themselves, with contributions from friends and family, including a cooking party the day before, and all the food was vegetarian - local organic wherever possible. The satisfaction they felt at being able to provide for their guests was tangible and there were some great comments heard on the day about not believing veggie food could be so delicious!

The wedding itself was held in a hotel in Wales which was right on the beach; many of the guests stayed there the night before and watched the sun go down on the sand. There were nine bridesmaids - myself included! - and we all wore our own choice of clothes and simply carried matching bouquets to create the sense of unity. After the ceremony itself, there were the photos - taken by guests rather than a hired photographer - lots of natural, unposed memories. About 20 of us then had a trip up and down the beach on the promenade train, blowing bubbles out of the sides and waving at the holiday makers. My brother then pulled off his shirt and shoes and went for a celebratory swim in the sea with the guests laughing in amazement on the shore. Would you be surprised to know that I joined him in there? - the water gorgeous and warm, the feeling exhilerating.

The reception was held right next to the Centre for Alternative Technology - a barn with haystacks, more food than we could ever have eaten, and two of the couple's friends DJ-ing the occasion. There was a trampoline, a brook, windchimes hanging everywhere, a willow bridge and - our 'hotels' for the night - 40 foot tipis! Each tipi housed around twenty guests and there was a log fire roaring through the night to keep us all cosy.

The whole weekend had such a sense of community - everyone contributing what they could and sharing their talents. It was the most enjoyable wedding I could have imagined - at a fraction of the cost of most weddings and with the event positively and wholesomely contributing to the world the married couple have started their life in. It shook all of us out of any expectations of what traditional events like weddings are all about and reminded us that these times are to be created, not merely replicated.

Action: Pick an event that's coming up for you - a birthday party, networking meeting, or even simply taking your dog for a walk. Plan it afresh. Start with who you are, what's important to you, and create from this place. Notice how different it might be from what you would have gone along with if you hadn't consciously created.

Inquiry: How do I plan?

p.s. For those of you new to this ezine, the "Inquiry" is a question which lives with you for the week (you might want to make it your screen saver or post-it note it somewhere) and hopefully brings insights about how you live your life. The "Action" is pretty self-explanatory!

p.p.s. If you would like more info on the venue they used for the reception, check out http://www.tipis.co.uk/ Let me know if there are any more details you'd like about planning an event in this way.