#41 - Making A Pledge

Getting married has you think a lot. There are lots of the details of the wedding to arrange - the marquees, food, dresses, music etc - and underneath all of that is, of course, the core of the occasion:the vows. What is is that we're wanting to promise each other? What are our commitments? And why??

Pledging also came up for me when choosing our honeymoon. We spent days and days trawling through 'eco tourism' and 'responsible travel' websites, trying to find the 'perfect location'. We were giddy from spinning all around the world and getting nowhere. All along, my conscience was feeling travel sick, its quiet voice reminding me that aviation is the single biggest contributor to climate change. Flying to Australia to see the Great Barrier Reef - whose very ecosystem is threatened by climate change - felt too ironic. How could I fly, knowing that it damages the environment and people's lives, when I don't need to?

It's one thing to say something, it's another to pledge it. I guess that's a key reason why we get married - to publicly pledge what we've been saying all along. And so I typed in 'flight pledge' and came across http://lowflyzone.org/ where you can commit to being free from flying, or flying less, for a year. It's inspiring to read the database of names of those who've pledged and their reasons for doing so, and I felt proud to sign up as #620 in a long list of committed people. There is something hugely validating about promising something and being witnessed by others.

I'm learning how much an outer pledge can support our inner commitment and strengthen it. Travel-wise, I feel the world has opened up since making that pledge, because I have smaller areas of the world to focus on and so can explore more deeply. Likewise with our relationship, it feels liberating to know that I will be loving and sharing with this one person for life; it excites my curiosity - given that we've promised to stay together through challenging times, as well as easy times, how will we do it? Who will we become, what inner resources will we discover?

I often see people not achieving anything significant because they are concerned that saying "no" to certain paths and committing to others would restrict them, or 'burn their bridges'. Yet pledges really are about saying "no" to make room for a more meaningful "yes". By saying "no" to this, what "yes" does this open up for me? As any fan of de-cluttering knows, having less options can bring more space and more simplicity.

Oh - and in case you were curious about our honeymoon "yes" - we're going to a turf-roofed eco-cottage in the Outer Hebrides. Doing Things Differently indeed....

Action: Scan your life for an area where you feel stuck, half-hearted, where you are going back and forth. Decide whether you are ready to make a pledge - whether a "no" could open up a more appealing "yes", or what a "yes" could liberate you from - and then make it. Tell someone, maybe even pledge on-line, and notice what it's like to be witnessed in your commitment, to have that accountability.

Inquiry: What does committing to this open up for me?

#40 - It's In The Air

When JK Rowling addressed Harvard graduates recently, her theme was the benefit of failure. The Royal Society for the encouragement of the Arts has recently launched a Glory Of Failure project. And I have been delving deeper and deeper into people's failure experiences through my most recent project - Fail Is Not A Four Letter Word. Traditionally, organisations, celebrities and professionals would be telling us all how to succeed and so this current perspective - on failing being valuable - feels new, fresh, like a change in the tide. Failing, it seems, is in the air.

I'm getting curious about the synchronicity of ideas. Just this morning, a client was speaking passionately about her vision for a project and reflected: "The timing is spot on for this" because her objectives overlap beautifully with key funder objectives. A year ago, there might not have been the interest, a year on, her dream might have seemed like yesterday's news. What makes something a 'hot topic'? Do ideas spread like viruses, caught and spread between one person and another? Or does an energy emerge and create a strong undercurrent, pulling us in certain directions?

We can always find evidence that the world doesn't need our ideas and gifts. Often, when we start telling others our dreams, they will shower us with that kind of evidence ("but what about the credit crunch!?"). Instead, how about we start noticing trends in the world which we get excited about? - buzzwords like 'community cohesion', 'innovation', or 'peer support'. Maybe we can spot practical action like more recycling facilities popping up, shops charging for plastic bags, allotments becoming more popular.

Let's imagine that the world were setting the stage - getting all the players into position, lighting, sound and...cue: YOU! What's it time for you to do?

Action:
Keep a list of the trends you notice this week which inspire you. By each, make a note of one thing you're already doing which links with that trend, and then one thing which could contribute to furthering this trend.

Inquiry:
What's hot? And where do I fit in?

Glory Of Failure - read the signature article for this here: http://www.thersa.org/fellowship/journal/features/the-joy-of-failure

For more about my Fail Is Not A Four Letter Word workshops, visit the Workshops section of my website - www.youinspireme.co.uk. Also, drop me an email if you'd like to put yourself forward to be interviewed on this subject.

#39 - Falling In Love All Over Again

A year ago, I broke up with this Doing Things Differently blog. It was a pretty intense relationship which then kind of faded away. Recently, we started playing with the possibility of getting it on again. Several people had lamented our split, saying they missed that darn blog and when were we going to start up again?

I wanted to wait until the natural desire to write began to spring up naturally, authentically; I wanted to feel that I was writing because I wanted to, not because I felt I had to. That's been happening for me recently. Words have been pouring forth and bringing joy, connections, and fulfilment with them and so here we are again, writing and I are back together, and I'm falling in love all over again.

I'm also feeling this way about Five Rhythms dancing. If you haven't experienced Five Rhythms, I'm not going to explain it - just find your local class and go dance it. When I first discovered Five Rhythms back in 2001, I danced like a possessed woman, travelling all over London to as many classes as I could get my hands on. When I moved to Cambridge, dancing was on a much more ad-hoc basis, started feeling like a bit of a chore, and so I faded it out. A couple of weeks, something shifted for me and I'm back on the dance floor, back in the zone, not able to get enough.

Falling in love all over again is thrilling. Many of us have experienced that: in relationships, with work, hobbies, people. You have something special but then it fades out and sometimes the bravest thing to do is move away. While you're away, you grow, you develop, you become more of you, and then if and when you come back to that long-loved whatever, you're a different you, it's a different it. The connection is authentic - it's not clinging on to the old, the stagnant, the habitual. It's not rehashing or going round in circles. It's love that's fresh, excited, pure, curious.

So, welcome to this blog - old readers and new. It's going to be about what it was always about - doing things diffferently - but now I'm even clearer why. We are at such a stomach-churningly exciting time on this planet right now, where we are called upon literally to do things differently or disappear as a species. It's that simple and it's that monumental. We need to find different ways of life which ensure a sustainable human presence on Earth and this blog is about featuring those people who ARE doing things differently - who are inspiring me and inspiring you.

Each blog entry ends in true coaching style with an Action (for you to do) and an Inquiry (for you to contemplate). I love to hear from you so do let me know any insights you stumble upon, or people/organisations you think it would be good to feature. My email is: yes@youinspireme.co.uk. Also drop me an email if you'd like to receive these blog entries direct to your inbox - pop 'Blog' in the subject title and I'll add you to the list.

Inquiry:
What am I falling in love with - right NOW?

Action:
Really look to your impulses. What is it that keeps twitching away at you, urging you to act? What is there from your past that you might want to revisit now, with fresh eyes, open heart? This week, allow what's arising in you naturally to lead you into new territory - or old territory with a new perspective. Look at your habits, your routines, the people and places which appear frequently in your world and look at them and interact with them as if for the first time, as if you were a child. Do things differently, as an awakening lover would.